Wednesday, May 26, 2010

2nd Quarter Dick Cheney Award for Corporate Malevolence Goes to BP

Who needs regulation when we've got altruistic corporate titans who innately know and do what is right?

Why should government stick its incompetent nose into the business of big business when corporate executives have the whole thing under control?

Why should there be any talk of accountability when corporations like BP have built their reputations upon always owning up to their mistakes, rectifying problems and treating all wronged parties fairly?

Then, of course, there is this world, in which none of these things exist.

Truitt Crawford, a roustabout for drilling rig owner Transocean Ltd., told Coast Guard investigators, "I overheard upper management talking saying that BP was taking shortcuts by displacing the well with saltwater instead of mud without sealing the well with cement plugs, this is why it blew out."

This is completely understandable given today's price of mud! What fool would seal his well with rare, expensive, hard-to-find mud when plain old seawater would do the trick?

The Blame Game
Once, there existed something called "taking responsibility for one's actions." It probably died with Abraham Lincoln.
From CBS News: BP PLC told senators Tuesday its massive spill was caused by the failure of a key safety device made by another company. In turn, that company, Transocean, said BP was in charge, and that a third company which poured concrete to plug the exploratory well didn't do it properly. The third company, Halliburton, says it was only following BP's plan.
Funny, when I was in elementary school and someone stole the donations box for the March of Dimes, or whatever it was in the classroom, and a culprit had to be caught, we had blame, but it wasn't a game.

I guess blame only turns into a game when billions of dollars are on the line, as when Wall Street turned its cannons onto the floorboards of the economy in 2008. Congressional hearings from that time seemed to have only one purpose: to not play the blame game.

I say, let's play. I think it should be played like "Duck, Duck, Goose" except when the guilty party is tapped as "goose" he should have a live hand grenade stuffed down their pants.

BP's (de)Merits:How ignoble.

Late breaking addition
Leaked BP Memo Compares Employees to Three Little Piggies, Puts Monetary "Value" on Employees Lives.

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