Friday, February 26, 2010

The GMC Denial - the ultimate illusion/delusion experience

The new GMC Denial has plush leather seats, satellite radio, DVD players, GPS, 19 cup holders, a baby-changing-station/deli-counter that folds out of the glove compartment.

It comes with sun-roof and tinted windows. The upgrade fee for a bullet-proof exterior is the mere price of a cup of coffee (each day for the next eight years).

The GMC Denial can traverse any terrain, and most small foreign makes of automobile.

It's great in the snow, a heartless bastard on the highway, and does not balk at sand or even three feet of water.

For all of the physical, tangible features listed on the GMC Denial's Fact Sheet, the best part of driving the Denial is the sheer, unaccountable sense of well-being that comes from being behind the wheel.

There's a filter on the radio that prevents bad news of any sort from intruding.

Even without that, you drive the Denial and suddenly you feel like:
  • "Yeah, there's plenty of oil on this planet!"

  • "Fuck the recession!"

  • "Gas will be .59 cents a gallon come summer!"
  • "Fuck my boss! I didn't want that job anyhow!"

  • "My wife will stop arguing with me as soon as she gets into the Denial!"
  • "Payments are relative -- they'll get the money when they get it!"

  • "I'll just drive all of my cares away!"
GMC's is like a lava lamp on wheels. The windshield, interior, and electronics have all been psychologically calibrated to keep your troubles away.

Come in and drive one today!

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